My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
