'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
