Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
