I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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