I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
