We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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