Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize