Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize