He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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