I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
