My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize