He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
