Yo dont text me then not text me
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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