How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
