When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize