I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize