The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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