I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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