Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
