I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
