do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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