oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
