Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
