Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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