She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
