Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
