So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
