he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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