I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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