Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
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