So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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