he puts the penis in happiness.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
the liver wants what the liver wants
be right there i have to get my cape
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
