Umm I'm too high to move.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need Xanax blowdarts
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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