Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize