No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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