we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
