What a fucking waste of an outfit
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize