He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
where does the pee come out of this thing
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I wear drunk well.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
