After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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