Having a random hookup so left but love u
You work out of a Hotel?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize