I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
