I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I want to be your penis for a week.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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