Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
