dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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