So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
