I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
