She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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