I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
