He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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