Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
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too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
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Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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