he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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