How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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