Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
