I hate your face
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize