he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
