She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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