Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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