i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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