You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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